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Week 1: July 3 - July 7

Episodes screened February 97 in the U.S. 

Appalled

As Kristen unburdens herself during confession of her weighty personal sins, Father Jansen is looking decidedly on the bilious side.  And you see Father, Kristen continues, I had to deceive John about the baby I lost in Paris, because well, I was trying to keep hold of him.....which leads me on to Laura Horton and her illegal brain laser surgery and the nurse who is keeping her in a state of terminal confusion......

Oh dear

While Kristen relates her rather dubious personal achievements of recent times to Father Jansen, she is oblivious to the peril outside.  Susan, whose contractions are now ebbing, has had an ultrasound - her baby confirmed as a boy. 

But, sighs Dr Roberts, you're not about to give birth - I'm afraid this is just Braxton Hicks contractions.  Quite normal and they really feel like the real thing.

I've been trying to call the baby's father, explains the nurse apologetically, but I can't get onto him.  He'll be coming soon.  

Wincing, Susan sighs.  Oh dear, she whispers to herself.  I gotta get out of here before John arrives.  Where is Kristen?

Stopping to talk with Marlena who has her ear stuck permanently to the door should she pick up a snippet of incriminating information, the nurse smiles.  Kristen's having a boy, she grins.

Sorrows Drowning

Bo's drowning his sorrows over his miserable love life when Commander Amiable Abe arrives.  Bo, this is not the way to handle your love-sickness, he chides.  

I think it's a perfect way to handle the terrible burden of two beautiful, attractive and stacked women being in love with me simultaneously, Bo slurps.

Oh woe is me! he burps diving facedown into his whiskey as Amiable Abe shakes his head and frowns.

The longest story

Father Jansen's decidedly green as Kristen relates the end of her story.  So there you are Father, she grimaces.  Kidnapping, hypnotic sex, virtual goggles, Stefano, Peter, false pregnancy, stand ins, nurses on the take, undead Peter, Jack in jail unnecessarily and laser probed Laura.

But, I'm really sorry and I've shed a tear while I've been telling you.  I need God's forgiveness now.

As Father Jansen retrieves his chin from the carpet, he shakes his head.  I can't forgive you Kristen and neither can God, he says speaking confidently on his behalf.  The only way you're going to achieve God's forgiveness is to right the wrongs. Tell John about the child you lost, tell John of Marlena's love for him, tell your friends about Peter and Stefano being alive and relieve the burden of Laura's mental anguish.  Then and only then, will you be in a position to seek God's forgiveness.

Yes, well, snaps Kristen standing.  I think I've told you already that I can't do that Father.  You can't tell anyone what I've told you - right?

That's true, Father Jansen sighs.  But I can't marry you and John.  And I won't.

Deep Thoughts

As Billieboob boards the We Go Anywhere Anytime Airlines flight to Paris, she sighs.  Hope has begged her to stay so Billieboob and Bo can resolve their feelings for each other and allow all three of them the freedom to move on with their lives.  But if don't go and try to get Bo to rediscover his feelings for me, I've lost Hope's friendship forever, Billieboob whispers to herself as she looks forlornly into space.

Hospital

Giving up trying to contact John by phone, Marlena has raced to the DiMansion where John has now finished repairing Shawn Brady's car.  A man of many talents indeed.

Relating the news of Kristen's pains and ultrasound tests, John's eyebrow does the confusion tango.  Why didn't she tell me? he frowns.  She would have had to drive right past me when I was fixing Shawn's car!

No time to waste pondering! Marlena urges. Let's go!

Bundling themselves into the car, John drives at breakneck speed to get to the hospital.  Opening the door to the examining cubicle they find the room empty.  Performing a theatrical doubletake John rocks on his heels.  There's no one here! he tells Marlena who looks equally astounded.

She must have gone home, the nurse pipes.  Gone home? repeats John as if new to the concept.  Why would she do that? quizzes Marlena frowning, but the nurse just shrugs as John and Marlena share bemused glances.

DiMansion

As Marlena and John return home, Kristen walks casually into the loungeroom.  Once more the cartoon doubletake as John stares open mouthed.  What are you doing here? he asks.  

Why wouldn't I be here? Kristen asks warily as John and Marlena eye her strangely.  You were at the hospital, you had an ultrasound - why didn't you wait for John to get there? questions Marlena sharply.

As Kristen's face turns pink, her cell phone rings.

Oh Kristen, finally! Susan laments.  I've been trying to get you all day!  I got labour pains and I've been at the hospital, and I had to have an ultrasound.

Fine, thank you and no I don't want to change my long distance carrier! Kristen shouts before slapping the phone shut.

Look, Kristen smiles at Marlena and John.  I thought I had contractions, they just turned out to be a false alarm.  I didn't want to call you until I was sure.  Now if you don't mind, I've had a big night and I'd like to go to bed.

Decisions

Walking into the Geriatricakis mansion, it's clear Billieboob has changed her mind.  

Picking up the phone, she calls Hope.  I've decided to stay in Salem, she says solemnly as Hope holds her breath.  Thank you Billieboob, Hope nods.  We'll see what happens.

I think something has already happened, snips Billieboob sadly as she witnesses the death of her friendship with her new rival.

Next Morning

Next morning, Kristen's in a foul temper.  Placing a call to Susan, she warns her there can't be a repeat of yesterday.  We must always stay in contact, she snaps.  I'll come over to your apartment this morning and we'll go through the details.  Now before I go, is there anything you haven't told me?

Well I think there is something, Susan drawls, but I just can't think of what it is right now.  I'll give it some thought.

Look who's back

As Bo relates the terrible burden of being loved by two voluptuous beauties to his mother Caroline over coffee, he gasps.

Hi Bo, whispers Billieboob as she sidles up to the table.  I'm back in Salem as Hope requested, so we can all figure out our innermost feelings.

Friends

The last dose of Forgetmepill that Laura took was more than 11 hours ago, and as Nurse Lynn sleeps, Laura begins to remember again.  It's coming to me, she tells Marlena lucidly.  There's a reason that I remember Peter and Stefano and Kristen.  They're not dreams, they...

Interrupting, Nurse Lynn steps into the room.  Have you taken your pill this morning? she patronises.  No, Laura agrees.  I haven't I'll take it now.

Within minutes, her mental faculties have deteriorated.  I can't remember, she whispers as she falls to sleep.

Looking at her friend sadly, Marlena stops in the doorway. Please look after my friend, she says to Nurse Lynn, as she departs.

I will, nods Nurse Lynn smiling after her. 

I most certainly will be taking care of Laura Horton, she grins shaking the bottle of Forgetmepills to illustrate her evil intentions.

More Decisions

Sitting in Salem Mall with FrUnco, Hope turns down his offer to join him on modelling assignment.  

Moments later however, she sees Billieboob joining Bo for a coffee.  I've changed my mind, Hope decrees defiantly.  I'll take that modelling assignment with you.  Will be good for me to get out of Salem for a while.

Meanwhile..

Meanwhile, Billieboob recounts her reasons for staying in Salem.  Bo, I think Hope's right, she urges.  You begged me not to leave for Paris a year ago.  You said you loved me, but I did what I thought was right.  You never got a chance to resolve your feelings for me, you just jumped right in to resume your relationship with Hope.

Look, Bo smiles breaking the bad news kindly.  I will always have a special place in my heart for you Billieboob, but I love Hope.  I've always loved Hope, and no amount of silly stunts of hers can change that.

Modelling

As Billieboob stumbles away, Hope ventures to the table.  I just thought I'd let you know that I'm going on a modelling assignment with FrUnco, she tells Bo who blows a vein.

I want you to look after ShawnD while I'm away, Hope request.

You can't go with FrUnco! Bo explodes.  He's a murderer!  That's never been proved Bo, and frankly I think you're wrong.  You have no say in my life, Hope sniffs.

A few feet away, FrUnco phones his boss.  Bo will never let Hope out of his sight if he still thinks I'm dangerous.  You'll have to find some evidence to fix my problem.  Nodding, he slams the phone shut satisfied.

Mickey's Advice

Please Jack! Never-Win Mickey urges his latest doomed client.  Please don't plead guilty! We can use Peter's character flaws, his family's evil deeds as your defence.

I won't do it! snuffles Jack complete with head cold.  I'm not going to make Jennifer suffer anymore than she has already.  Or Laura for that matter, I'm not going to put them through it!

Quietly upstairs, Jennifer listens unseen, a frown hovering over her brow.

Awkward

Awkward times indeed as John has summoned Father Jansen to the DiMansion to discuss his upcoming nuptials with Kristen.  We just want it to be a quiet affair, John smiles.

Eyeing John through squinty eyes, Father Jansen is confused.  I thought I was perhaps coming here to help you work through the conflicts that you and Kristen may have, he ponders.  What conflicts would they be? frowns John as Father Jansen realises his mistake.

Quickly Kristen enters the room smiling.  No conflicts here Father! she smiles embracing John and glaring at the priest over John's shoulder.  

Holding his head high, the priest shakes his head.  Well in that case, I'm sorry John, but I refuse to marry you and Kristen.  I can't say any more.

As John watches him go open-mouthed, Kristen appears unconcerned.  He's my friend, John says shaking his head.  Maybe it's because you were a priest honey, Kristen offers.  Maybe he just can't get by the whole celibacy priest thing. I wouldn't bother to go talk to him about it, he probably feels guilty about all of this.

Unbelievably, John swallows this implausible explanation.  You're right as always Kristen, he smiles, but a hover of eyebrow concern strikes as he peers suspiciously into the distance.

News

As Bo and Hope squabble endlessly over FrUnco's involvement in the death of the man on Smith Island, Bo's cell phone interrupts.  Snapping the phone shut, Bo looks furious.  They've made an arrest for the killer of the man on Smith Island, he reveals to Hope who smirks.  I told you Franco is not a killer Bo, she reminds him triumphantly.

As FrUnco waits for Hope, Billieboob approaches him.  I'm glad you stayed in Salem Billieboob, FrUnco nods.

Well, you always said that you thought Bo and I should be together, Billieboob smiles.  We'll see.

I'm sure you will end up together, FrUnco grins confidently.

Confrontation

After Never-Win Mickey leaves the house, his face grim, Jennifer confronts Jack.  You can't plead guilty! she pipes.  Abby can't have her father in jail!  My mind is made up, snorts Jack stubbornly.

Interrogation

Continuing with last night's interrogation, Marlena questions Kristen.  So was John pleased about the news about the baby's sex? she asks. You know our child's sex? asks John excitedly, as Kristen stares nervously between the two.

I didn't want to tell you John, Kristen wails.  I want it to be a secret.  

Well I know, Marlena challenges her.  Why don't you want John to know? In fact I've even bought some gender-specific purchases.

Walking into the room, the hired help carries an armful of just delivered baby gifts - wrapped in blue.

Oh my! Marlena chortles embarrassed.  I didn't expect they'd come so soon!

John's braincells are indeed working overtime today.  Staring at the boxes of blue, he's come up with an answer!

We're expecting a boy? he turns to Kristen.  Eyeing the parcels, she smiles and agrees.  Yes, she concedes we're having a boy.  But that's really mean of you Marlena as I didn't want John to know.  I have to get out of here and think for a little while.

Rivals

Rivals for Victor's comatose affections, Vivian and Kate continue their habitual carping.  Once Scami wakes up, Vivian snarls, I'll find out what she has on you and then everything will be mine again.

Scami has nothing on me, Kate scoffs.  You're pathetic Vivian. And I have the numbers to throw you off the Titan board.

Just Visiting

Vivian and Ivan visit as Scami's coma remains uninterrupted. When that little demon wakes up and tells me everything, Kate will be history! Vivian hisses to Ivan. 

But the visit is cut short by All Purpose Dr Mike who bursts into the ICU fuming.  Get out of here immediately! he orders Vivian and Ivan.

Don't you realise this girl is in a coma?  If she needs any kind of your brand of therapy, I'll let you know.  But for now skeddadle!

Eyeing the chastened Vivian and Ivan as they depart, Kate smirks.  But a frown hovers around her brow.  When Scami does recover, she thinks as she bites her lips, who will she tell about my secret?

Susan's Visitor

A knock at the door and Susan opens it, pleased to see Kristen, ignoring her visitor's thunderous expression.  Look I put on fake nails like you Kristen, she smiles, but Kristen stalks angrily into the room. 

Don't you think that perhaps it may have been a good idea to tell me that you're expecting a baby boy? she snarls.  Marlena knew about it and I was standing there looking stupid.

Oh yeah, Susan frowns. I knew I forgot something!

This is serious Susan, we have to go over all the details.  Make sure nothing like this ever happens again okay?

Now. You know where the private hospital is, everything should be okay.

Frowning, Kristen ponders.  Your blood is a different type than mine.  That could cause a problem, but they've done your blood test already, and they won't go back into my old hospital records so that should all work well. No slips ups this time okay Susan?

Okay agrees Susan chastened.

As Kristen leaves, Susan grasps her baby doll.  Lisa Maree, she sighs rocking the doll backwards and forwards. Oh Lisa Maree, I'll look after you baby girl. Momma loves you Lisa Maree.

Big Mouth

Marlena, Kristen and John have arrived at the hospital to see Scami when they bump into Dr Roberts.  Did you tell him about the baby being a boy? he whispers theatrically as Kristen and John smile.  Yes, Marlena replies crisply, but Kristen didn't want anyone to know.  

You didn't? asks Dr Roberts crushed. I'm so sorry!

While you're here though, I need to take some blood from you Kristen, we need to do last stage tests.

No, I can't! Kristen says nervously.  I mean I really can't!  I'm squeamish in my last few weeks of pregnancy, I can't stand the thought of needles.

Honey? Do it now! urges John frowning.  It won't hurt!  

Come on Kristen, smiles Dr Roberts, I'm the best in the business at taking blood, you won't feel a thing.  

Awake!

Ausdumb and Carrie are visiting Scami, and are thrilled when she opens her eyes.  Scami you're awake! they say thrilled.  We'll go and tell Dr All Purpose Mike about this wondrous occurrence.

Blood Test

As Marlena and John accompany Kristen during the blood test, Kristen looks on nervously as the nurse prepares and takes the blood.  There! John says proudly.  It wasn't so bad was it?

Astounding news

Waiting outside for the results John, Marlena and Kristen look curiously at Dr Roberts who is scratching his brow in confusion.

This has never happened before, he sighs, but the strangest thing has happened.  Your blood doesn't match your previous sample Kristen!

We'll have to do another lot of tests.

As Kristen shakes her head and refuses, Marlena eyes her suspiciously.  What is it with you Kristen? she ponders.

Temporary Sanity

Laura's woken from her nap, and appearing temporarily lucid has broken in on Jennifer's discussion with Jack. 

Jack you must not plead guilty, Laura says astounded.  Abbey needs her father, you can't be that if you're in jail!

As Jack departs, Laura questions her daughter.  

I think you are in love with Jack again, she tells Jennifer who keeps her lips zipped.  I think it's important that you tell him.  That way he may change his mind about pleading guilty if he thinks there's a possibility to rebuild a life with you and Abbey.

Awake

Scami's awoken again.  Carrie? she whispers as her sister beams.  Yes, Carrie whispers.  I'm here.  I'm so pleased that you're awake, I'll go and call Marlena.

Oh Carrie? asks Scami as her half-sister heads towards the door.  Would you call dad too?

Frowning Carrie walks outside.  Dad? she ponders. Roman's been on assignment for over 2 years!

Desperation

With the nurse unable to redo the blood tests, Marlena volunteers.  Preparing to take the blood, the news comes through.  Scami's awake!  You go and take John! Kristen tells them.  I'll be fine.

As John and Marlena rush to Scami's side, Kristen picks up her phone, her hopes crushed as she reaches Susan's answering service.  Please call me immediately you get in! she instructs.  It's an emergency!

Problems

Oh honey! we're so pleased to see you awake, Marlena gushes as Scami smiles back.  Hi mom, Scami grins.  Oh Hello John! Carrie.

Mom, did you call dad?  Her smile faltering Marlena looks at her daughter.  Ah daddy's at work - you know that, she smiles. Oh Austin, whispers Scami shyly.  How nice of you to come.  I didn't think I knew you well enough to come and visit me.

As Ausdumb looks confused, Dr All Purpose Mike signals for all to leave the room.

Could she has amnesia Mike? asks Marlena worried.  Could be temporary, Mike nods.  She did have substantial trauma to the head.  I'll get another cat scan and we'll see what we're dealing with.

Lucky

Finally, Kristen reaches Susan.  Come over quickly.  Clothes suit no. 2. They want to take blood.  Come as me.  QUICK!

Threats

Sidling up to Kate, Vivian's feeling superior.  Word is that Scami's awake, she whispers.  Any time now Scami is going to share your secret with me.

In Time

Kristen's nervous.  Susan has made it in time to give blood, but she's wearing the wrong blouse which has been noticed by the nurse.  

You can't do things like that! sighs Kristen.  Now wait in that back room, change back into your clothes and go home.

Jennifer & Jack

Jennifer's followed Jack to the park.

If you go to jail Jack, she whispers, you and I will never be able to rebuild our marriage and our lives together.

Capturing Jack's attention, he looks hopeful.  Do you want to rebuild a life with me? he asks.

Memories...

Marlena's rejoined Scami.  I remember I was with dad just before my accident, Scami recounts.  He was very proud of my grades.  I can't wait to go to the Prom.  Prom? asks Marlena.

Frowning, Scami chides her mother.  Mom, you know!  I'm 16 years old now, I'm allowed to go to the prom!

Santa Rosa

Just to make her torture truly complete, Hope is back at Santa Rosa, the honeymoon spot she had the most romantic and meaningful times of her life with Bo.  This time however, she's on modelling assignment with FrUnco.

Where's Bo? asks the owner, a long-time admirer of the "most wonderful, romantic couple on earth".

Bo and I never got married, Hope laments.  He could be with Billieboob now.

Aren't you taking a risk? the nosey owner asks inquisitively.  I have to see if Bo really wants to be with me - I don't want to have to always wonder whether he really loves me or someone else, Hope explains.

Raspberries 

Kate is over the moon.  Scami has amnesia and her secret is safe - at least for the meantime.  And by the time she remembers, Kate will have all the board members voting Vivian out of Titan.

Warnings

Bo's continuing to drown his sorrows at the Salem club and will not heed Amiable Abe's suggestions that it's time to go home.  You're a good friend, Bo tells him firmly.  But this is my life and skedaddle!

Dressing

Now she's had her blood tested, it's time for Susan to shrug off her Kristen persona, and clamber into her own clothes.  But voices just outside the door startle her.  She can't change her clothes here, she'll have to find somewhere else.

Vivian's Pleas

Sneaking into Scami's hospital room, Vivian smiles at her, keen to get the goods on Kate.  I'm sorry, smiles Scami apologetically.  Do I know you?

Come on Scami, Vivian chides, you don't have to continue with the act any longer.  You can confide in me!

I'm sorry, frowns Scami, but I don't know what you're talking about.

Worried, Vivian turns to Ivan.  I think she's telling the truth, what am I going to do now that I can't get the scandal on Kate in time for the board meeting?

Lobbying

Spying John and Kristen in the hallway, Vivian makes a beeline. I'm hoping that I can have your support during the Board meeting at Titan? she gushes.  I know my favourite nephew will support me!

Showing a rare flash of insight, John acknowledges that he's only her favourite nephew when something has gone wrong.  John's both unwilling and unable to vote for her, knowing the grief she has caused to his best pal Vic Geriatricakis.

Appealing hopefully to Kristen, Vivian's smile falters as Kristen shakes her head.  I'm sorry, she explains, but I'd never go against John's voting intentions.

Billie & Bo

Bo's bladder must be extended severely as he continues to swill the booze.  Billieboob, dining with Kate at the Salem club sidles over to him, her face showing concern. Thank you for your concern, but I am fine, slurps Bo summarily dismissing her.  There's only one thing that will make me happy and that's my FancyFace.

Nursery Visit

Clueless John believes Kristen's latest bout of nerves are due to her fear that not all will be well with their baby's impending delivery.  The nursery, full of screaming infants, brings a smile to John's face, as Kristen falters, bursting into sobs for the baby she lost.

Hey, come on, John chides.  We're going to have one of those as our own very soon.

As John remembers he must fill in some urgent paperwork, Kristen's left alone, looking pensively at the babies.

Feeling guilty Kristen? asks a voice behind her.  Why it's Father Conscience clambering onto her left shoulder to whisper in her ear.  Can you ever be happy knowing that you have continually lied to people?  There's nothing I can do now Father, sighs Kristen brushing him off.  We had a close call earlier today with blood tests, but that was taken care of.  I see that as a sign that we won't be caught, and everything will be just fine.  Father Conscience grimaces before exiting.

The Salem Club

Stopping by The Salem Club for a martini, Vivian is disheartened to spy Kate and Billieboob dining triumphantly at a nearby table.  Deciding to stay, she turns her attention to Ivan.  If only I could appeal to Kristen, she tells him. Stefano and I had ties, I could appeal to her on the basis of that.

Susan

Susan's been unable to find a place in the hospital to dress into her own clothes.  Now outside the Salem Club, Susan looks at the building's facade dubiously.  I don't think this looks like a place where Kristen would come, she says to herself as she enters.   Grasping her brown bag of clothes, she looks around nervously before making a beeline for the ladies room.

Oh! There's Kristen now! chirps Vivian excitedly as she watches Susan enter the room.  I'll go and see if I can lobby her support.

Bad news all round 

Dr All Purpose Mike Horton has arrived with the CAT scan results, producing them for Marlena.  Staring over her shoulder, Never-Win Mickey looks concerned.  Is that the dark part there that's causing the problem? he asks.  

Yes confirms Mike. She's had quite a bit of trauma to the head during the accident.  Whether she will ever remember what has happened in the last four years remains unclear.

Oh Gosh, sighs Never Win Mickey, his hopes for his first successful case dashed.  If Scami can't agree to have her marriage annulled to Ausdumb, then Carrie and Ausdumb can't be married.

Oh my....Marlena says rather inarticulately.

The Ladies Room

While Susan prepares to don her normal persona, Vivian speaks to Ivan just outside the door to the Ladies Room.  I'm going in and appeal to her.  I need her vote for the Titan Board Meeting! Vivian says anxiously.

Anger

Amiable Abe is pulling rank.  He's watched Bo dive into one glass of whiskey after another, and has nagged him senseless all night trying to appeal to his non-existent commonsense.  Now it's time to act.  Bo, go home, Abe thunders.  

As Bo raises his voice, Billieboob and Kate are alerted to trouble.  Standing from their chairs they walk forward to settle the conflict.

Too late it seems as Bo, filled with enough nagging for the night, punches his superior officer smack in the nose, as people gasp and Abe drops to the floor.

What will happen next week? Tune in here for Days Downunder!

Results of Quizlet for last week below. 

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