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Week 3: June 12-June 16

Episodes screened December 1996 in the U.S. 

JUNE 12

Why?

Now that loony Laura has blurted Kristen's name in between bouts of coma-like slumber, Marlena is both suspicious and curious.  She urges Kristen to see Laura, to ascertain what is causing her agitation, but Kristen is naturally reluctant.  Laura's been through so much, she frowns.  I think we should have a doctor look at her before we upset her any further. 

Having no dopey pills within reach, John is able to make his first lucid comment in some time.  But Doc's a doc! he reasons.  She's qualified to make sure Laura is okay.  As Kristen searches vainly for alternate excuses, everyone's lost interest.  It's time to invade Laura's room now and interrogate the poor woman with the bloody dot on her temple.

Line up fall out

The line-up has failed.  Black-eyed Jill has been unsuccessful in pinpointing her attacker.  I'm sorry, she murmurs apologetically.  I can't see the man here.

As Bo sees his love-life rapidly descend into the sewer, he's frantic.  Grasping Jill, he does the unthinkable and unethical, placing her face to face with his prime suspect - FrUnco Kelly.  This is the man I think did this to you, he tells her.  Take a good look at him. Is he your attacker?

I'm sorry, Jill says as Bo's heart sinks and FrUnco smirks.  I've never seen this man before in my life.  (Technically this is true as she's another actress - but, I digress).

Miserably Hope stares at Bo. I knew it! she tells him. The reason that you were trying to pin this on FrUnco was not that you thought that Billieboob's life was in danger the night before our wedding, but because you thought FrUnco was going to make love with her. That is why you went out there, and that is why you didn't make it to our wedding. You still have feelings for Billieboob.

Bo, our relationship is over!

But Fancyface! stumbles Bo as his bottom lip quivers. That's not true! You gotta believe me!

Laura Recalls...

Kristen is waiting anxiously for Laura to devastate her life, but all loony Laura can remember is that Kristen visited her room on Christmas Day.  Breathing a sigh of relief, Kristen smiles.  That's right, she says, I was so worried about you and came to see you on Christmas Day.

Popping dopey pills again, John smiles lovingly.  That's my girl, he says affectionately as Marlena gags bedside.  Always worried about someone else.

Laura's brain hurts when she tries to remember, but that doesn't stop Marlena's relentless pursuit of the truth.  Try and think Laura, she urges.  Think!

I saw Peter, mumbles Laura as Kristen's heart temporarily stops.  He was, he was in the coffin...she sobs as all present look at each other meaningfully.  Yes that upset us all mom, Jennifer sighs.

Kristen's had enough.  We must go, she tells everyone.  Poor Laura can try again later.  This is causing her so much stress.  As everyone piles from the room, Kristen smiles.  Looks like Laura remembers nothing, she tells herself relieved.  Now all I have to do is marry John.

Car found

Ausdumb and Carrie have been waiting inside Brady's Pub while reporting Ausdumb's stolen car.  Suddenly the door opens.  Salem PD have performed a sterling job and for them, a minor miracle.  The car has been found!  And they've caught the perpetrator!  Pushing the cuffed criminal inside, Scami is revealed.

I didn't steal it Austin, she pleads.  I just had to do some errands.  But Ausdumb's not buying.  I didn't give you the keys, he challenges, you must have taken them out of my pocket.  This isn't the first time she's tried to sabotage our New Year's Eve plans, Carrie recounts.  Last year she put all Ausdumb's clocks backward.

Do you want to press charges? asks the policeman clearly tired of family squabbles.  Yes, nods Ausdumb.  Lock her up and I don't care if you throw away the key.  Okey dokey, smiles Officer Plod as he leads Scami away.

Wait! Carrie stops them.  Ausdumb, it's not fair to separate Will from his mother.  It's not his fault.  Okay, agrees Ausdumb turning to goo in the presence of a smarter and cuter being.  Let her go then, I  won't press charges.

Ausdumb thank you, gushes Scami happily as the object of her affection looks bored.  Don't thank me, thank your sister, I think you should be locked up, he sneers.

Now off to Green Mountain Lodge with my honey Ausdumb beams - just temporarily delayed.

Request

We better get going honey! reminds Kristen.  We don't want to be late for our own wedding elopement! I don't know, says John reluctantly.  I don't like keeping the truth from everyone.  If we're going to get married, I'd like our family and friends to be there.  Don't make me go through a big wedding so close to Peter's death, pleads Kristen.  I couldn't take it!  Nodding in agreement, John reluctantly concedes all the stress might have a detrimental effect on Kristen's pregnancy. 

Let's get going then! smiles Kristen picking up her coat.

Where are you two going? asks Marlena walking into the room.

June 13

Discussions...

After weeks of persuasion, FrUnco is finally making headway with Billieboob.  It's important for her to go after Bo, now that he is breaking up with Hope.  Once Bo gets over the heartache, he'll realise that he never stopped luffing you Beelee.  I couldn't do that to Hope, Billieboob wails.  She's my friend...but if she doesn't want him, I guess.....maybe......

It's Over

Hope's on the pier, still trying to drag her engagement ring from her finger, when Bo desperately tries to stop her.  I've had enough Bo! she sobs.  Since Billieboob returned to Salem we've been having problems.  It's over Bo - you've got to admit you have feelings for her still.

But I don't Fancyface, bleats Bo miserably.

Plans foiled

Kristen's annoyed when Dr All Purpose Mike urges Marlena, Kristen and John to stay for new year's eve celebrations.  Kristen's keen to elope secretly with John and this has indeed put a dent in her plans.

I know it would mean a lot to Grandma, Mike urges, as Kristen agrees reluctantly.

Once we leave here, Kristen thinks to herself, I'll marry John and there's not a thing Marlena can do to stop it!

Lies, lies...

Ausdumb's making plans to leave with Carrie for Green Mountain Lodge, when Scami stops him.  You can't Ausdumb! she urges.  There is something wrong with the car!  I swear it!  I ran off the road in it twice!  

You must be the worst driver! challenges Ausdumb rolling his eyes.  This is just another one of your tricks Scami.  There's nothing wrong with the car.

We're not listening to you anymore.  I'm going to pack our luggage.

Visions

Celebrating New Years Eve at the Horton house is Celeste who sidled in with invitees Sexy Lexie and Amiable Abe.   Making small chat with Marlena, she agrees to visit Laura's bedside.  Perhaps Laura's aura can be read.

Upon viewing Laura, Celeste nods her head sagely.  Yes, yes, I can see bright light, she says, her concern growing.

As Laura moans holding her head in pain, she agrees.  Yes, yes, she says.

I can see people standing around you.  They're looking worried.  Oh my dear, you've been through a terrible ordeal.

Grasping Laura's hand, Celeste arches her back looking like a reject from Penthouse magazine.  Oh! Oh! Oh! Celeste rocks, emulating a porn star.  Oh the pain you feel! I can feel it I can feel it!  Yes! screams Laura.  Yes!  oowwwwwwwwwww.

Witnessing this mutual caterwauling, Marlena's forehead creases just slightly.

Happy New Year

Fortunately we're spared the full rendition of Auld Lang's Eyne, as everyone charges their glasses.  Happy new year!!!!  It's 1997!

Jill & Hope

Hope's decided to visit Jill as Bo is now convinced that Jill and FrUnco have formed a conspiracy to keep them apart.  There's nothing I can really tell you other than Bo did seem concerned about Billieboob, Black-eyed Jill reports.  As Hope thanks her sadly and drags her heels towards the door, Jill looks pensive.

Wait! she calls.  I think I know something that may help you!

Pleas

Scami's desperate! She's got to stop Ausdumb driving that car - it's dangerous!  I don't believe you Scami, Ausdumb tells her again.  Discussing their marriage, the reluctant groom has had enough.  Our marriage is a sham! he tells her.  I only slept with you because you drugged me.  I would never make love with you.  Frankly Scami the thought of going to bed with you makes me sick.  

The Billie vision

Celeste takes a moment to wander, bumping into Billieboob lamenting her lack of a love life.  Remember how you told me that if I flew over Niagara falls I'd have a great love affair? Billieboob tells Celeste.  Well I flew over Niagara and what I've got is a great big mess.  You'll be meeting someone tonight, Celeste tells her sagely.  There's a saying that the one you spend 12 o'clock on New Years Eve with, is the one you spend the next year in love with.

Little chance of that, Billieboob thinks.  It's almost 12 now.

Ah ha!

Finding from Lexie that Kristen and John were due to fly on Black airlines, Marlena's made haste to the plane.  As Kristen kisses John, she looks up.  Oh No! she groans as she sees Marlena. 

Looking confused John's mouth flaps as Marlena strides inside.  I know what you're up to and you're not going to get away with it Kristen, she states crisply.

Flashing Marlena a warning glance, Kristen smiles.  Whatever do you mean?  I mean, corrects Marlena breathing deeply, that you shouldn't fly with the baby's birth so close.  You've had a difficult pregnancy, I'm surprised you want to place it at risk.

John breaks in.  We checked with the doctor, he said a short flight was okay, but I'll go check again he says leaving to make the call.

Didn't you have a career once Marlena? snipes Kristen curiously. Or did you give it all up to make my life a misery?  We had a deal, snips Marlena ignoring her.  I won't tell John about the despicable person you are, and you're not to be alone with him. 

John returns. Doctor says it's okay to fly! he smiles as Marlena swallows.

12 o'clock

Just before midnight a maudlin Bo is roaming the park.  Hearing the bells toll, Billieboob looks pleased as she looks at Bo.  Hi Bo, she smiles thinking of Celeste's words.  Happy New Year.

The accident

Unable to stop Ausdumb from getting into the car, Scami walks around the back wringing her hands.  There really is something wrong with that car, she thinks.  Ausdumb! she screams, please! don't go!  

As Ausdumb places his foot on the accelerator, the car jumps into gear slamming Scami against the wall.

Quickly Ausdumb looks appalled.  What has he done??

JUNE 14TH

The truth

Hope has sought out Black-Eyed Jill to gain some insight into Bo's state of mind the night before the wedding.  Initially telling Hope nothing, Jill decides to come clean.  The truth is, she tells the distraught Hope, I think that Bo was jealous that Billieboob would be on Smith Island with another man.  That's why he was so keen to get out there.

Hope's world comes crashing down.  If that is true, then it means as I suspected that Bo still has feelings for Billieboob.

Thanks for being so truthful, she sobs as she sees herself out.

Hospital

Sami's been taken to the hospital.  Will she be alright Mike? the family ask Dr All Purpose Mike Horton - man with a thousand medical disciplines.  I don't know, sighs Mike who has just seen Scami fly past on a stretcher.  I'll keep you posted, but now I must run!

Ausdumb calls Billieboob distraught.  It's an emergency he tells her.  I need you to be here at the hospital.

Timing

As Marlena is about to voice her reasons why John and Kristen shouldn't fly, her cell phone rings.  It's Carrie.  Scami's been hurt, she sobs.  You must come to the hospital immediately.

As Marlena flies out the cabin, John turns to Kristen.  I've gotta go, he roars two inches from her face.  You come too - quick!

Scami

Thing's look grim for Scami.  Get a gastric tube, instructs Dr Mike firmly as the medical staff jostle for camera position.

It's over....

Bo is moody.  Sitting on the pier he remembers happier times.

Like when Hope was to marry Larry Welch when he kidnapped her on his bike.

Click HERE to hear Hope's girlish voice. (real audio 23kb)

He remembers their wedding

Oh Hope, he moans in real time.  How did it all come to this?

News!

Ausdumb is smacking himself senseless, as Marlena and John rush in.  What happened! How's Scami! Marlena shouts looking in vain for a doctor.  It's my fault, Ausdumb mumbles.  I hit her with my car - twice.  Once when the car lurched out of control, the other when I tried to drive forward again.   

Gasping for breath, Marlena's eyes are wide.  I'm so sorry, Ausdumb wails.  I thought she was lying about the car.  I'll never forgive myself.

As Carrie tries to comfort him, he pushes her away.  How am I going to tell Will I killed his mother! he retorts.  It's my fault!  It's all my fault!

Feeling Bad

As Hope leaves, Black Eyed Jill feels guilty.  Poor Hope looked so devastated, she tells the empty room.  I can't stand the lies!  I'll have to tell her.

Extricating himself from her closet, FrUnco enters the room.  After all we've been through together Jill to get to this point?  I think not, he warns.

FrUnco knew this would happen, and he's ready.  He has an envelope in his pocket full of lovely cash for Jill - if she leaves Salem now.  Undergoing an instantaneous character change, Jill sparks up.  You said your boss is rich, she smiles.  I think I'd like to make a new start in a nice warm climate.  What about Maui?  I'm sure that your boss wouldn't like me to tell Bo and Hope the truth.  Why don't you come with me?

Eyes narrowing, FrUnco's face hardens.  Jill will be a liability.  She's getting just a little too smart for her own good.

Prognosis

As All Purpose Dr Mike checks in with the family, the news is not good.  Scami is in very bad shape.  We think she has internal bleeding, she may have a ruptured spleen, she has spinal damage.  Certainly her capacity for manipulating at this point has been severely impacted.   Oh no! gasps Marlena biting her knuckle.  Not her evil bone?  Will she recover?  It's too early to tell, advises Mike.  She's comfortable at the moment, I'll keep you posted.

JUNE 15th

Why? why?

Ausdumb's in distress.  Why didn't I listen to Scami when she told me there was something wrong with the car? he agonises.  Ausdumb, it's not your fault! comforts Carrie.

It's Over

Bo can't believe his relationship with Hope is over.  He's astounded when coming across a maudlin Hope on the pier, she tells him of Jill's belief that he went to Smith Island because of his jealousy.  Shaking his locks, Bo looks confused until true genius kicks in with an answer.

Of course! Jill and FrUnco are in this together!  I should have known!  It all fits.  That's why FrUnco was so smug at the line-up.  He knew she wouldn't identify him!

Oh Bo, sighs Hope sadly.  He's on a crusade again.

The Return of Nurse Lynn

At the hospital to provide support to Ausdumb, though secretly pleased of Scami's life and death struggle, Kate is surprised to see Nurse Lynn back working at the hospital.  Well, explains the overly expressive Nurse Lynn rolling her eyes.  I fell for this guy in Europe, he told a good story.....

And you lost your money, finishes Kate shaking her head.

Yup, agrees Lynn sadly.  So here I am back here again nursing Laura Horton.  Seems she's gone cuckoo again.

Around the corner, Kristen catches this exchange, eyebrow raising when she hears Laura's name.  I've got to get to her, Kristen thinks.  God knows what truths she may blurt out!

Lucas

Used only as a scenery filler for weeks, Lucas is thrilled to get his big moment.  Racing into the waiting area, he shirtfronts Ausdumb.  Are you happy? the snivelling brat whines peering high into the lofty space his half-brother inhabits.

All Scami ever did was love you, and look what you did to her! he roars as Ausdumb fumes.

Enough enough! tones Hero Black stepping into the fray.  This is not the time or the place to air your differences.  Scami is the one we must be thinking about now.

No, sighs Ausdumb with a hot line to the martyrdom club.  He's right.  It's all my fault.

As All Purpose Dr Mike Horton prepares to accompany Scami to surgery, Ausdumb stops him.  Tell me the truth, he urges Mike.  I can't lie to you, Mike tells him.  Her hold on life is tenuous.  Of course, if you keep talking to me, she'll bleed to death while I give you this update.

Old times...

Marlena's taken a moment from gasps, moans and histrionics to give some blood, and John's lending his manly support.  She's so pleased he can be there for her.  I love Scami too Doc, he tells her squinting, his facial muscle working overtime.  I still think of her as my daughter.

Salt in raw wounds

Snivelling brat Mucas was quite pleased with his previous performance, getting the due attention he wanted.  So pleased in fact that he's decided to repeat himself.  She only wanted to make a family with you Ausdumb, but you just had to flaunt Carrie and yourself in front of her!  

Ausdumb has no reasonable excuse.  He feels bad.  She told me there was something wrong with the car, he mumbles.  I should've listened to her.

Commander Amiable Abe Carver smells the scent of a crime.  She did? he asks.  Yes, admits Ausdumb.  But I just thought it was her lies again.  Oh, nods Abe sagely.  Her lies.  Well you're right there.  No criminal liability I can see for running over your wife.  It was an accident.  We'd better have the car taken and tested though.

Kristen & Laura

Kristen's located Laura's room and is startled when the phone rings.  Picking it up, she looks scared.  

Stefano I won't even ASK how you knew I was in here, she tells him.  No, she's still asleep.  She hasn't said anything yet.  I'll keep ensuring she says nothing.  Bye.

And just who was that? asks Marlena standing in the doorway.  

It was a friend of Laura's, Kristen says sounding bored.  Why aren't you worrying about your daughter Marlena instead of following me around?

News...

The news on Scami isn't good.  She's got spinal damage but at the moment, they can't even look at that.  She's going to bleed to death if they don't get her to surgery - stat!  

I'll get my scrubs, Marlena tells them ridiculously.  I want to be in on the operation.  I want to be there for my daughter, despite being absent from her life 99% of the time.

'Fess up!

Bo's on his crusade.  Barging into Jill's apartment, he's unaware that FrUnco is hiding in the closet listening.  This was all a set-up wasn't it Jill? he roars.  Confess!

I'm sorry Bo, I just told Hope the truth, Jill sighs.  That in my belief you were more jealous than worried when I told you about the man who beat me being back in Salem.

His mouth dropping dumbstruck, Bo bleats unintelligibly, before grasping Jill firmly and shaking her shoulders.  Tell Hope the truth! he demands, but Jill just looks scared as she flops to and fro.

That's enough Bo! Hope tells him firmly.  I'm sorry Jill, we're leaving now. 

Prayers

Praying in the hospital chapel, Carrie talks with Ausdumb.  I know Scami did a lot to hurt us both, she sobs, but I do love her.  We must pray that she gets through this Ausdumb.

June 16th

With surgery underway All Purpose Dr Mike looks worried as he assists.  I'm concerned she has so many injuries she may not make it, he mutters to his colleague, who's brow creases in considered agreement.  As a machine beeps in frenzied alarm, the medical team jump into action.  She's arresting! they scream.  Get the paddles.  Clear!

Holding her hands back, Marlena's eyes fill.  Hang on Scami, Hang on! she shouts.

Out of surgery, Marlena reports to the waiting, worried Salemites.  We nearly lost her, she sobs, but they're closing up now. 

She's in a critical condition.

Rolling her eyes, Kristen is unimpressed.  Marlena sure is milking this for all it's worth, she thinks jealously as she watches John comfort his former wife.

Zombie

Laura's been restlessly tossing and turning in her hospital bed, when her eyes open.  Kristen, she mutters throwing back the covers and walking from the room.

Frankensteinesque, she walks to the group, staring straight at Kristen.   You're a liar and a fraud! she states clearly as Kristen's mouth drops open and Marlena turns to stare pointedly at her enemy.

Fraud? Liar? Laura what are you talking about? Marlena asks.  Are you referring to Kristen?

Swallowing a handful of dopey pills moments earlier, John looks terminally confused.  Why would Laura call you that honey? he asks as Kristen shrugs.

You're a liar and a fraud, she repeats before collapsing into John's arms.  She's asleep! Marlena determines rather cleverly for a psychiatrist.

Of course! smiles Kristen relieved.  She's sleepwalking that's all.  She's having a dream.  Eyeing Kristen suspiciously, Marlena's unconvinced.  Let's get her back to bed, she suggests.

Mother's advice

Kate doesn't miss an opportunity.  I'm not saying go out and throw yourself at Bo, she tells her daughter.  All I'm saying is that he will be upset over his niece's accident.  He'll need comforting.  And as he's broken up with Hope, he won't be finding comfort with her.

As Bo walks up, Billieboob places her arms around him.  I'm so sorry about Scami Bo, she whispers as he leans against her.  Arriving moments afterwards, Hope stops and stares tearfully as Bo finds comfort in Billieboob's arms.

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Last week's quizlet results.

Fairly even balance between all answers to the question:

What action/saying annoys you the most?

"I want us to be a family again" ShawnD = 21%
"That's a fact" John Black =15%
"But Fancyface I love you" = Bo 21%
Franco picking up his cellphone every minute = 19%
Celeste reporting she "has a feeling" =7%
John or Hope's busy eyebrow raise = 17%

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Copyright 2000  All Rights Reserved: Gayle Howard